Removing Toxins

At one point in time I was praying to Lord. I was healing from sexual abuse, my marriage was a struggle, our finances were a challenge, and my alone time with the Lord was the only peace and serenity I had. I cherished that time with him. I looked forward to it every day. So on this day I prayed, Lord, remove anything in my life that would keep me from growing closer to you. I had no idea what the consequences of this prayer would be.

My loving Father showed me if people want to get their bodies healthy they remove the unhealthy foods they eat, and stop the unhealthy activities they participate in. In the same way if I want a healthy spirit, the spiritual food that is unhealthy for me must be removed. The activities and people I am involved with that are spiritually unhealthy must be removed. In 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, Scripture says Do you not know your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own, you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your bodies. Cleaning, whether it be our bodies, our activities, or our relationships can be very uncomfortable. However, it is vitally important!

In response to my request, the Lord did, in fact, remove everything in my life that would keep me from growing closer to him. After six years together, my second husband revealed he had been extremely unfaithful. He also started drinking again. He left us in the spring of 2016. However, as I look back on this event, the Lord’s provision is unbelievably clear.

I was offered a job in February. I wasn’t looking for a job, but it was a great one, so I accepted. One month later my husband left us. The Lord provided work for me even before I knew I would need it! I worked in agronomy. So when I needed to cry or talk to God, I could. I was in fields all alone, so I was not disturbing coworkers with my grief.

Every day was an exhausting battle for my mind, peace, and sanity. My mind was ravaged with thoughts of you’re not as pretty as her, you’re not as fun as her, you have too many responsibilities, nobody likes you, everybody loves her, what do you expect, she’s gorgeous.

Scripture says the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour in 1 Peter 5:8. In God’s word it is also written Resist the devil, and he will flee from you, in James 4:7. A few years earlier I read Joyce Meyer’s book The Battlefield of the Mind. I am so glad I did because when Satan attacked my mind with all these thoughts, I knew to speak out loud God’s truths about me.

Day after day out in the fields I cried as I repeated to myself, I am loved. I am chosen. I am God’s daughter. I am precious to him. I am beautiful in his sight. I have a purpose. He is pleased with me. Over and over again I repeated these things to myself, even though I did NOT feel them. At first I repeated them quietly. Then louder I spoke them. After a few weeks I was telling the devil firmly, at the top of my voice, to leave me alone. He has no power over me because I belong to Jesus, and Jesus loves me, chose me, and has a purpose for me. I am so glad no one heard me!

The battle was tough, but it was necessary. I won. I am now able to forgive my ex husband and his mistresses. I have been able to pray for their forgiveness. I can be kind to them in public because God has healed me the healthy way, and I have grown closer to him.