The Perfect Date

On the radio, two disc jockeys were interviewing a man about his recent first date. My daughter just got asked on a date for her first time, and as we traveled through northern Arizona on our family vacation, I thought listening to this interview might present a teaching moment. I just didn’t know yet whether the teaching moment would be for her or me. My goodness, having your baby girl asked out on a date is a weird feeling! I’m not that old…am I?

As the man waited silently on the radio, the disc jockeys called the woman who was taken out on a date. When asked about her experience, the woman shared her disgust at being taken out for a coffee date. For a first date, she was hoping for something a little fancier and more expensive. My husband and I laughed and teased our young son about never dating a “high maintenance” girl. Our daughter, we promised to lock in the basement so we could keep her all to ourselves (note: we were teasing and laughing with our children; we would never actually lock them in the basement). Still, my family had a great opportunity to discuss what the purpose of dating is, and what is important when selecting people to spend time with. Surprisingly, the Bible has much information about preparing for a relationship and choosing a spouse.

Proverbs chapters 5 and 7 warn of adulterous women who lead men astray (5:3-10 and 7:6-23). This book encourages men to stay faithful to their wives (5:15). Second Corinthians 6:14-16 is a warning to believers in Christ not to be in relationship with unbelievers. In this section, dating or marrying is referred to as being “yoked” together. This is a reference to a pair of oxen that are yoked together in order to perform a job. If the oxen were not matched in size, strength, endurance, or ability then the work could not be done quickly or efficiently. The oxen would wear out faster. I know from experience, having a household that represents more than one church denomination gives opportunity to our enemy. The temptation to disagree about beliefs, prayers, and involvement is always waiting at our door, ready to pounce and cause an argument.

For young ladies, the books of Ruth and Esther provide wonderful examples of learning to be submissive while still strong, intelligent and hard-working while obedient and humble. My favorite Bible lesson in relationships though, is the Song of Solomon, also known as the Song of Songs. Most people never read this book. Most pastors will never discuss it, and will shy away from questions about it. There are many creative interpretations to what this book really means, and I just have to laugh. We know that God created woman as the perfect complement and helpmate for the first man(Genesis 2:18, 23-25). Is it really reasonable to think the Almighty God who created our world, giving us all its details and laws, would create something so sensitive as physical intimacy and not give us an instruction manual for it?

My daughter has not yet gone on her first date, and honestly, I’m glad. I feel like I need to study up on how best to guide her through this stage of life. Still, the Lord is with my husband and me. God is truly our perfect helper(Isaiah 41:13)! One night, he gave my family an example of the perfect date.

My husband and I were trying to plan a date night. However in our rural area, options for going “out on the town” are limited. As he went to work that day, my husband heard an opportunity on the radio station. A family of musicians was coming to a small town to perform that evening. Instead of a date night involving just my husband and me, we loaded up our children and drove through the green hills of northern Nebraska. We arrived at a tiny country church out in the middle of nowhere. My husband and I were surprised to find the pastor of the church was a friend of ours who had moved away a few years back! As we listened to a combination of bluegrass and country music, and heard stories of how God had worked in this family’s life, I realized our heavenly Father was showing our daughter the perfect date night. We ate burgers at a small town bar, drove through God’s beautiful countryside, and listened to some great music for a small donation!

Our Lord really is a good Father! I can’t believe how many times I still try to figure out a path and he already knows the way. I am still so slow to ask him BEFORE trying things on my own. Yet, he remains patient with me. Thank goodness! Now I know how to help my daughter. Before she can date a boy, she must watch and listen to our Lord and read the Bible! I’ll be praying!

How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes are doves.

How handsome you are, my beloved! Oh, how charming! And our bed is verdant.

Song of Solomon 1:15-16