Silence

My last post on this blog was a few months ago. As with many families, mine had become very busy this summer. At first I felt guilty about not posting something. I quickly dismissed that, though, because I’m not really that great of a writer. I’m not eloquent in speech or extremely intelligent. Still, didn’t God use someone who said the same thing (Exodus 4:10)? My purpose for writing has been simply to share, for anyone who’s interested, what God has done in my life. As I thought about starting to write again, and the gap of time I created, I came to one simple conclusion:  I didn’t have anything to say because I was grieving.

My focus hadn’t been on my Lord, like it should have been. My focus had been on my nation’s government. My focus had been on getting curriculum ready for the next school year. My focus had been on my daughter beginning to drive, getting along with her dad, and finding compromises between what my kids wanted to do this summer and what my husband wanted to do. Needless to say, I was the living example of Peter when he was on the water with Jesus (Matthew 14:28-30). As soon as he took his eyes off the Lord, he began to sink. I didn’t realize it at the time but I, too, began to sink.

Seeing the storm raging in my nation has broken my heart. In the book of Deuteronomy, chapter 28, our sovereign King laid out promised blessings for those who would obey his commands and curses for those who would not obey his commands. There is no way we, as imperfect human beings, can follow all the commands our God laid out for us. That’s why he sent his Son to save us. Still, he expects us to try. In Scripture he says, “Be holy, for I am holy,” (Leviticus 11:45). American families have not made holiness a priority. Our communities have neglected righteous living, and our nation is simply displaying the result of the curses God warned us would come. The state of our Union doesn’t just break my heart; it breaks God’s heart, too. Revelation 8:1 says when the seventh seal of judgement was opened there was silence in heaven for one hour. Although I do not think we are in the Great Tribulation that the book of Revelation talks about, I do believe there are times when God is silent from grief…and then comes possibly the two most important words in the Bible…but God.       

My God is smarter, my God is bigger, my God is holier, my God is stronger, more loving, more patient, more just, more righteous, more generous, and more protective than any hardship I could ever face. He knows. He sees. He cares. He may be silent for a time, but my Lord has always shown up when I needed him. He alone is faithful and trustworthy. So I may be silent for a time, but God…