A Circle Y

My heavenly Father has protected me for years, even before I knew him! I would love to know the number of times he has protected me or helped me avoid a dangerous situation. I am convinced he often has a palm to his forehead and groans, “that girl!” One winter on my way to visit a friend my car stalled at a major intersection. I barely got my little SUV out of the way and there on the corner just happened to be an automotive repair shop! The vehicle needed immediate repair to run safely again, but also had several other parts under the hood that were about to go bad. By God’s grace I was able to find a great new-to-me car that weekend, and trade off my old one. Still, I didn’t plan for this financial hiccup. As I was working through my budget the end of that month, I hung my head and said,

Lord, how am I going to pencil it all out?

In my family I am the middle child of five siblings. In order to remember who was who, we had titles given to us by my dad’s coworkers. One of my sisters was the hockey player, my younger sister was the dancer, and I was the horse girl. My world revolved around my horses. I fed them, cleaned stalls, exercised them, learned how to train them, and even won ribbons with them. I loved working with my horses, and I was proud of my abilities. When Dad died I was heartbroken, but when my horses were sold weeks later, I was devastated. I didn’t know who I was because my title was no longer relevant. I didn’t know what to do with myself. My whole sense of identity was gone in an instant.

After twenty-one years of Dad being gone I had finally healed, and it took all twenty-one years. I had to grieve not only the loss of my father and my beloved hobby, but also what I hoped my life would have looked like. The only thing I had left of this treasured season in my youth was a Circle Y saddle. I had held onto it long enough. If I was going to finish healing and move on with my life, I had to let go of my saddle. The old girl was still in great condition, but dry and in need of oil. I didn’t know what it would be worth now, so I simply asked $200 for it. An old cowboy replied to my advertisement quickly because it was a Circle Y. He used to work for them and loved the brand, but no longer had one for himself. He came to the house, loaded it in the back of his pickup and then stopped.

“I just can’t do this,” he said.

I tell you my history to tell you how God helped me “pencil it all out” that day after my car broke down. The old cowboy who bought my saddle felt like he was getting too good of a deal. He gave me $300 instead of the $200 we agreed on! He was thrilled to have the saddle. I was happy Dad’s saddle went to someone who would appreciate it, and the Lord provided the finances I needed to make ends meet…again!

Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

Matthew 6:26