Numbness=Mercy

At the time I left my first husband I was very depressed. I felt my choices were suicide or divorce.  No little girl dreams of growing up and getting divorced. Being raised Catholic, I believed either way I’d go to hell, but if I chose divorce, I could watch my baby girl grow up. So divorce it was. 

I called in sick to work one day, and stayed home to cry.  Life had definitely NOT turned out the way I thought it was supposed to.  I cried out “Lord, if you’re there you can have this life! It sucks; I don’t want it anymore!” I knew I was alone in the trailer house. Still, I heard an amazingly gentle and loving voice clearly and boldly say, “Are you ready to do things my way now?”

I immediately sat up, and looked around. I gasped, “Holy cow! He talks? How come I didn’t know He talks?”

I don’t remember much after that.  The Lord, in his great mercy, made me exhausted, numb, and helped me recover from my grief. I later learned this was the same thing God did for Elijah when he was afraid and depressed. You can read Elijah’s story in the Bible, 1 Kings 19.